Not so merry, not so “Bright”

I watched David Ayer’s Netflix-exclusive “Bright” the other night. Set in a “fantasy meets modern” world, it’s the story of an LA cop teamed up with the world’s first Orc cop. The world of “Bright” is inhabited by humans, elves, orcs, dwarves and numerous other fantasy creatures. Magic is a very rare but very real commodity and ends up playing a central role in the story. The focus, though, is on Will Smith’s Daryl Ward and Joel Edgerton’s orc cop, Nick Jakoby.

Before I continue, I should warn, here there be spoilers. If I’m going to be discussing a movie I’m not going to bother leaving out details so watch it first if you don’t want to know what goes on in advance. Or, in this case, watch the first five minutes and you’ll be able to figure out everything that’s going to happen.

The key word with “Bright” is “derivative.” It’s not a horrible movie, but it’s not really good, either. It’s a mishmash of plots and elements taken from other, mostly better movies. The movie it owes the most to is “Alien Nation,” which provided pretty much the entire plot thirty years ago. It also seems to borrow heavily from “The Warriors,” as the three main characters have to make their way almost out of and then back into territory lorded over by two rival gangs, while what is essentially a third gang of elves tries to track them down. Lastly, it borrows from Strawberry Shortcake, My Little Pony and every other movie that ever had a plot where the only way to beat the final villain was to use an item or ability that the main character definitely doesn’t have (in this case, a magic wand that kills any non-magic user who touches it), only to find out, in the end, that Dorothy could have gone home any time she wanted…I mean, the main character actually had that ability all along but just didn’t know it. That should tell you all you need to know about the plot and has just saved you two hours of your life. Unless, of course, it inspires you to go back and watch an “Alien Nation,” “Warriors,” “Wizard of Oz” marathon.

Outside of the story and basic premise (which are not memorable, original or noteworthy), there’s really nothing memorable, original or noteworthy. The whole thing feels rather uninspired despite clearly being “inspired” by other works. Honestly, I wish I could say something about the acting, directing, effects or soundtrack other than that they weren’t awful, but that’s probably the highest compliment I can pay it. You probably won’t hate it but you won’t want to watch it again and most likely won’t be clamoring for a sequel (which, predictably, was confirmed yesterday).